Wow!

Thank you all for your very valuable feedback. I’m very happy with the tremendous response and I’ve had so many, many good comments that I had a really terrible time deciding which 2 should pick up the prize.

But before I announce the winners, let me summarize some of the main themes that seemed to be running in your comments.

  • Overall, the number of you who liked the old copy vs the new copy was really split down the line. (Which gave me a good headache about which copy is really better).
  • Some of you mentioned that having the tax statement on top is a big wow factor while others say it looked liked a scam or it distracts from the headline.
  • An interesting observatiion was mentioned by a few people that those who prefered the old copy were mainly those who were already familiar with the old copy or were Singaporeans.
  • Those who prefered the new headline vs the old headline was also split down the middle even though the headline had very slight changes to it. It just shows how important your headline is to your sales copy.
  • Again half of you prefered the flow of the old copy and half prefered the flow of the new one.
  • I think almost all would have agreed the summary and close at the end of the new copy was a lot better.
  • And this one is interesting – quite a lot said the black background was distracting, while others said that it helped them focus better. Interesting how just one change in one factor (color) can make a huge difference.
  • An overwhelming majority of you prefer to have my face on the copy. In fact, the main reason why a number of you actually prefered the old copy was because there was a person there, behind the website, that made the site ‘real’. If there has been one factor that’s been proved conclusive, it’s this one. So I will definetely take this feedback and have my face back on the site. And thank you all for liking my face!

There are many, many other comments but you know that I can’t cover all of them, so I’ve just shared some of the more major discussions that were aired. I also think there’s a TON of really good info in the comments, so if you’re looking to write your own sales copy, they could provide you with some inspiration or ideas.

And now the 2 winners to this contest:

Martin Lee
Juergen Kosel

Congratulations! You guys will be receiving further details in your inbox soon, so look out for that.

To give my reasons why I picked them. I felt that Martin has made a very good point which was articulated very well:

Well, you asked for a critique. Here goes….

If the purpose of getting feedback is to improve the salesletter (ie increase the conversion rate), the whole exercise is futile. Why?

Each and everyone of our comments do not help determine whether sales letter A or B is better or worse. Individually, each of us might have a preference; but taken collectively, this opinion counts for nothing.

So what if 1 reader prefers headline A, 10 readers prefer headline B, and so on.

Even if 99% of your readers tell you the same thing, it might very well be the wrong thing. You wouldn’t know.

To see which sales letter is better, run them in parallel with a A-B test and see which one gives you a better conversion (making sure the sample size is sufficient).

That will be your better sales letter. At the end of the day, the market is always right. Why not listen to it?

Martin’s comment hit that nail on the head, we always have to test and measure to really discover what’s converting visitors to customers. In fact this contest proved only one thing for sure and that was you all like my photo. Everything else was really split down the line.

Here’s Juergen’s comment:

Hi Adam,

in my opinion the actual seller of Secrets Of Self-Made Millionaires is your story as you started from scratch and became a very successful businessman as well as speaker and coach.

Still there are some differences for which I feel that the second version is in several aspects better:

1. The number One important difference seems to me that statement you have earned $….last year instead of earning now $ … and that you come right there at the spot with the proof. The reader is actually forced to look at the proof and you got your first YES already in the first few seconds he is on your page. What more compelling method is there to get a reader’s attention as fast as this?

2. Further it builds up better from the start by placing the same modules a little bit different; f.e.the paragraph urging to read through (the first after headline) makes really much more sense in the second version as you have given there already a proof of your claim.

3. It is easier readable and therefore more comfortable and urges to read all through the letter. The grey background of the original version may be more comfortable for the eyes, but I feel anyhow that I can read the new version better.

4. But more important; I think it makes a more serious impression on the reader.

5. To spread the testimonials all over the letter works much better than before, where there were too many at one place. For my taste there are still too many in quantity on the sales page – f.e. you could put a countless number on a separate page accessable through a link on this page, or put one or two into the long text part in the middle.

6. However, on the other hand I was missing on the second version the ad you made with the N.U.S.

7. I like very much that near the end how you gave more thought to “Take The Action” (after your guarantee) and I am convinced you should put right there your Order button.

8. To take this idea a little further I would suggest to take your “Recap” (which is really good) one paragraph ahead of the “Take Action”. I feel it to be natural after “Recap” and “Take Action” to take the decision at this point, if it was not done earlier.

9. Some suggestions you could try (test):

I would keep your Photograph also in the new version, but after the paragraph “Read This Letter…,” may be on the right side. It would make your offer more personal and real.

You could improve the first part of your copy (presenting yourself and your achievements) by throwing in between some benefits the reader would get further on. This would help the reader to feel more involved with yourself.

To write down all my thoughts here might be too long and I hope not boring to anyone, but I like to invite you Adam to contact me for further discussions.

I hope this may be of any worth to you.

All success,
Juergen

Juergen shared several really good points which I will look out for, especially the part about adding benefits to the top of the copy so that the reader knows exactly WIIFM straight away and the suggestion of moving the Take Action paragraph after the Recap.

There you have it the 2 winners and for the rest who’ve participated, please don’t feel disappointed if your comment was not picked, because by you sharing all of us have gained knowledge and ideas from each other here. I really want to thank of all you for participating in this and all the best!