Hi Guys
Recently, someone sent me an email saying that his life was full of problems. Everytime he solved a problem, a new one would emerge. ‘Why can’t goals be easy to achieve?’ ‘Why can’t things go exatcly the way I planned?’ ‘ Why is it that everytime I want to acheieve something, something will always go wrong?
Why Must Life be Filled with Adversities? He then went on to complain that he was not as lucky as other people around him. ‘Adam, you are so lucky that everything is going your way, you don’t seem to have any problems!’
Well, if you feel the way this guy does. Then I have some rather shocking news for you! Everybody experiences problems and adversities EVERYDAY of their life! So, you are not alone. In fact, if you think that you have got problems, there are many people out there who have got even bigger problems and they would glady give an arm and a leg to have your petty problems. Think of the poor maid who was featured on the Straits Times who lost her entire family (her children, husband and parents included) during the Indonesian earthquake. Kind of puts our life into perspective huh?
Many people think that with wealth and success, problems all go away, and life is carefree. Well, I have got more news. The more successful you are, the bigger your problems! Many people may not know this, but I got bigger problems that most people ever think! In fact, I believe that if I would let anyone live my life for a week, they would probaly collapse form the sheer extreme stress and demands! Imagine, having filling the expectation to inspire and change the lives of over 4,300 people over 43 audiences from 4 countries in the last 30 days. Memorizing 150 hours of speeches and at the same having to worry about over $400,000 of fixed costs and about 70 staff at the same time, all having their own set of problems that I need to solve for them. Not to mention, answering 30+ emails a day to people with probems ranging from relationship breakdowns to business problems. I dealt with this in the last month alone.
But…Hey! I am not complaining. I believe that Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and George Bush have got problems 100x worse that mine every single day. This is why I believe that before life would allow anyone to become more sucessful, you must first prove that you can handle problems at your current level first. If not, life will not allow you to advance to the next stage! So, everyone has problems. The more successful you are, the bigger they are! The only people without any problems are those lying in the graveyard!
Some people ask me why life must be full of adversities. Why can’t things come easily? Well, think abut it this way. Imagine if you watched a movie like Star Wars or the Lord of the Rings and in the entire 3 hour movie, there were no bad guys, no problems and no sad or frightening moments. Would you enjoy the show? No! You would probaly be bored to death and fall asleep! Imagine if Frodo took a beautiful stroll through middle earth with all the fairies smiling along the way and the birds singing. I doubt he would have felt the joy and pride of completing his journey! So, you see, if goals were not tough to achieve with problems along the way, it would not feel good achieving it in the first place. The only reason why we feel good and proud about getting someting is precisely because achieving it took so much sweat and tears!
I have another theory. I believe that adversity and setbacks are there to teach us certain lessons that we need to learn in order to be able to have the wisdom to move to the next level of success! Also, the greatest opportunities always come disguised as problems! They never seem like opportunities at all. When people complain that they have no opportunities in life, it is becasue they never saw the opportunity that lay disguised within their problems and so they chose instead to run away and hide from their problems, thereby never finding out the truth. In other words, everything bad happens for a specific reason. It is there to teach us lessons, mould our character and give us an opportunity for 21st century teaching.
Let me give you an example for my life. When I was in Primary school, I went through lots of problems. I was lazy, unmotivated and hated to study. I had low self esteem and mixed around with the wrong group of friends. My parent’s divorce also affected my lack of desire to do well. As a result, I ended up in lots of trouble and was expelled from St. Stephens School when I was in primary 3 (aged 9). When I got into Ngee Ann Primary after half a year of missing school, I could not catch up and as a result, did badly for my PSLE and was rejected from all 6 secomday schools of my choice. Instead, I was posted to a neighbourhood school called Ping Yi that was not ranked very high at that time.
It was because of the fact that my life was in the pits that I was forced to learn NLP and accelerated learning techniques to turn my whole life around (out of sheer desperation). After applying what I had learnt, I topped my schools for the O levels with 8 points (L1R5) and made it into VJC where I scored straight As for A levels. I then went into NUS (business Admin) where I ranked among the top one percent of the cohort and was in the Deans List every year. Because of my meteoric rise from the bottom of the educational system to to the every top, I wrote my book ‘ I Am Gifted, So Are You! that became an instant best-seller as it told the inspiring story of how a stupid moron like me (from a neighbourhood school) could be one of the top students in NUS. I then started my ‘now famous’ June Enrichment Program inspiring both students and adults to succeed, which earned me my first million by age 26 and many more milions after that.
Here is my very important point that I always pondered on. IF I HAD NOT LIVED such a screwed up life at the beginning and did not have all that adversity, then I would NOT HAVE LEARNT NLP!!! If I did not learn NLP at age 13, then I would never have learnt all the powerful strategies that allowed me to become so super successful today! I would have grown up to be just another ordinary average person.
Indeed, it was a blessing in disguise. Also, imagine if I had done very well in Primary school and HAD NO learning and behavioural problems. then, I may have done very well for my PSLE , scored 4A stars and gone to Raffles Institution (RI).
If I had gone to RI, RJC and NUS, then I WOULD NOT HAVE THE INSPRING STORY of IDIOT TO GENIUS to tell! My story will no longer be sexy and I could not have written the book I AM GIFTED, SO ARE YOU! to inspire other lousy students like myself. Since I was good all the way, I could probably only write the book ‘ I AM GIFTED, SO TOO BAD TO YOU!!! So again, everything happens for a reason.
I also realized that the main reason why I am so good at motivating lousy students and under-achieving people is because I USED TO BE LIKE THAT. Therefore, I can understand and connect with lousy students and turn them around so well. If I had been a super studtent from Raffles Institution all the way, then I may not have the ability to help all these students the way I do today, since I cannot understand the problems they face and how they feel.
The lesson I want to share is this. Embrace your problems and adversities in life! They are there for a purpose. Use them to learn lessons and as opportunties that will help you to achieve all the success in your life. Some people may ask, ‘then why do some people keep facing problems after problems and go aroud in circles never ever succeeding?’
The answer is because they have not yet learnt the lesson they are supposed to from the adversity but are instead giving excuses, blamig, complaining and running away. I believe that as long as you don’t learn the lessons that your problems are there to teach, they will keep on coming until the day you do. The very tragic thing is that many people live throughout their lives and die never ever learning the lesson.
Good one 🙂
agreed. If we cant handle the problems we face everyday, its impossible to achieve greater things. Managers are always trying to ‘repair’ things while leaders go forward.
Thank you for sharing your insight!
It really encourages me to do the same.
I think I register for your POE course next month to learn more from you.
Well said, Adam…. I totally agreed with you. There’s no easy short cut to be successful. If we can’t even handle the small obstacles in front of us, we don’t deserve to be on top.
Merely reading at your articles had inspired me tremendously.
Keep up the good work and there are many one of us out there standing behind you.
i agreed to wat u had said, but at the same time does it mean that students who are good in their schoolworks and went to RI RJC NUS will not experience adversity and setbacks thus not learning lessons from them that they need in order to be able to have the wisdom to move to the next level of success.
I perfectly agree with your view here. It is sometimes being too smooth & uneventful in some of our lives that create a sense of complacency, lack of motivation and diminish fighting spirit. We must always see the adversities in the positive light, as much as possible, as a good testing lessons to better ourselves for the future ahead of us.
Yes, agree to your perception and perspective of looking at it all. Lessons and tests in life will come back for us to work on until we learn from them! If one can see and understand how this all works for the better and even the best …one learns to embrace such wonderful opportunities received. It is like taking exams..if one doesnt make it, one get to sit for a sub-paper..however, having said this there is the issue of choice. That is to re-sit, repeat the test or to give up…that is an individual’s decision and it applies to everything in life! To re-progam one’s subconscious mind and gradually set one’s thinking right..I would choose to replace the word “problems” with “challenges and opportunites” to begin with. Learning, growth and development never ends…it continues even beyond this lifetime : )!
wow! tat was some really true and well argued great insight… kind of knocked me to my sense… thanx for inspiring me… so motivational 🙂 keep going to change people’s lives man
hi adam..i cant help but sound like a cliche and agree that wat u said made sense to me..like u..i did not hav great results when i was a kid..i was in trouble all the time and my parents were always called to school…but it was when i started workin part time n faced lots of adversity did i begin to learn life’s lessons…i tried my best to turn my life around n finally got to a local uni thru the poly..
my partner n i r now tryin to build a biz and i muz say all this would not hav happened if not for the adversities…i will be attendin ur Wealth Academy preview on the 17thAug..hope to see u soon!
As for khor…i tink there r adversities everywhere…regardless of whether u came from RJC or not..cos so long as you hit the market…there r always challenges for u..n that makes u grow..may all of us achieve greater things in life..like Adam Khoo himself…
Hi Adam,
I totally agreed to what you have said. I would like to share a personal experience about myself that briefly illustrated adam’s point. Well….. not that i am very successful…. here goes…
I was an average student during my primary school days and out of the six years i ranked 29/40 most of the time. I didn’t know why i was in school… i didn’t know why i must study , basically i didn’t know anything. hahahha…
When i proceed to secondary education, i was able to maintain my ” standard” as an average student…. hhahaa.. ranked 29/35… as you can see, i’m among the last few. During sec1, a major incident took place. My Mum suddenly passed away due to a fatal car accident. It really hit me hard and i was devasated. I became quiet, inferior, no self confident and all the negative qualities that you can think of. Due to the fact that i was from a neighbourhood school, i was posted to pure science stream despite my average result (I failed my maths but they say my science was good when i scored 69/100 .. hahhawhat a joke.)
From that day onwards, i was constantly the second in class…. but counting from the back. This have again helped in lowering my self esteem. I don’t know my goal in life and i don’t know why i was in this world… i looked into the mirror and saw this loser….. i hate this guy looking back at me in the mirror. I told myself… I MUST CHANGE!!! I was lucky enough to secure a place in Singapore Poly with my dull coloured results. I started to become more sociable and friendly… i suddenly find that life is changing… my results got better and better…. study seems to be easier and easier each day…even those classmates who got 9 points (5 best ) consulted me in tutorials and stuff… my results were among the top few in class….. Thereafter i become a loud person…. my friends in secondary school found a great change in me. Is like 2 different person altogether.
Later i went to overseas to a university in Australia and got a good honours degree. My secondary school teacher actually invited me and some other friends back for a speech during the sec4 graduation. The teachers wanted to show to the students that you can do very well even if you are from a neighbouring school.
The point is that my mum’s passing on is actually a blessing hidden behind a mask.. as from my point of view, it really pushes me to strive hard and have a strong urge wanting to do well.
Thanks for your patience in reading my lengthy words…
Good night,
Best Regards
Patrick
Hi Adam,
I agree on what you discussed on embracing problems. But however, being in an elite school doesn’t mean that one faces no problems at all. Not all students in elite schools had it that easy. Perhaps you would like to discuss more on elitism in school and our society today.
Hey adam, I finished your new book within 3 days and there is only one word i can describe it. Excellent! The book includes all the information that are all so relevant.
i attended the superteens program 8 years back when you were still a student and speaking part time, since then i’ve admire and follow all your news.
And yes, i was so inspire that i top the school that year. But the fire started to die off until you started your series of books again. And i can say this one is the best among all! Good Job adam.
hey adam…i jus bought ur book ”i am gifted so are you” n i think its a really great book…im sec4 now n im gonna have my 0’levels soon n i need to ask u a few things personally .(ive been getting straightF9’s lately-_-‘)…is ther any way i culd get ur email to contact u?
so sry i noe its out of topic to post it here but i jus cant find a way to contact u…busy man haha..
ps: my email is backstreetfan@hotmail.com
yours sincerely,
kartik ( god i hope adam reads his the comments-_-”)
hi adam;
on 20 july @1930hrs i went to your preview on wealth academy and was amazed by the way you present the syllabus of the entire package .
so me and my wife sign up for the program and i went over to ask you a few question regarding my work (if you still remenber me i’m eric the guy who ask for your signature twice and ask a few question about my work i’m in the army).
i am very sure that my value is much much more than what i am getting now whether its in the form of money/respect/happiness or freedom.
and i am very eager to start something now. i have receive a few email from you and its about recommending the self-made millionaire web-site which i will be getting a share of the profit if customers buys it through my link and i’m still working very hard on it .
so i came across your blog which is this , and since the wealth academy is starting on the 5th of oct and i have a nice 2 months to spare ,me and my wife wants to learn how to go about setting a web-site like yours and all the links to it step by step cause proactive is one of the habits that i must have and i know i will be enjoying every single moment of setting up my very own web-site which i have been dreaming about and only action will bring me there , i seriously hope that you could pardon my ignorance and guide me to acheive it .
thanks alot
erick yap
I have some thoughts to share here regarding elitism in schools as so many of the above discussions seems to emphasize so much on entering an elitist school as a determinant in success in life. It might be abit long but I think Adam would be happy that there are people who are making discussions on his homepage.
For me, I am the reverse of how Adam had experienced his life. I was among the top in my PSLE result, went on to the top 3 class in a so called elitist school and still stayed within the top 3 in the class. I was at the same time a captain for a sports team, won art competitions, an all rounder, so anyone who had known me then would say i am going to be a high-flyer in life. BUT i am not happy, because i am not sure why I am doing it except that i was told it is going to help me in the future. Maybe also simply that I hated the feeling of losing that I made sure i win all the time.
So I went into a state of identity crisis soon and became one of the problem kids right through JC, even though the JC that I had attended is a good JC. The deteroiating trait continues in my studies in the university, and I barely passed my graduation exam.
There are 2 points that I would want to emphasize with this, although there is no strength in the words of one who still has a negative amount in his savings. For Thomas, what I think Adam wanted to emphasize is the fact that, while taken that all students studying in any school would have their own sets of different problems, it is exactly the common mind set of the society to stream the schools that had created extra problem for the students studying in the so called non-elitist school. There is public pressure put on them while I certainly think that the so called ‘branded’ schools’ students receive none of those.
I personally did not agree with the discrimination of schools publicly, as it would serve to make those students or teachers who are still currently working hard to change their own lives feel unappreciated, and I believe Adam did not mean anything like that but just to serve a purpose in explaining a point that there are differences in the amount of problems faced in different schools. However, unfortunately, it is necessary in the fault of the structure of our mind and the limit of language, to make a point through dualistic comparison, that it could be misinterpretated.
Secondly, I felt a so-called good school does not bring you anywhere further than the limit you believe yourself can do. Hence, BELIEVING in your own strength to overcome the problems and do what you like in life is more important than discussing whether there are more or less problems in elitist or non-elitist schools.
More important than to just choose an elitist school is to understand what the school can do to cater to your interest and strength, as well as to choose friends who can help you to advance your level and character. Hence, ultimately, knowing what one’s interest is more important. While Adam’s books did cater exercise to reach into the innerside of ourself to seek out our real strength and interest, I certainly believe in physically seeking out the answer through expansion of various experiences in life.
For those who are already successful( in the physical sense assigned by the mass belief of the society) they would be probably not reading this page for they would either be too busy or they have employed Adam as their private consultant. But for the rest of us, even though i know little about money making, I thought i can share my own way in finding one’s strengths and weaknesses, and that would be done simply by keeping oneself away from being too comfortable when making decisions for life. I get myself into troubles, hardship and problems, and that is how I get to understand abit more about myself. Maybe it is worth it, maybe it is not. But by not experimenting with it, I felt I am losing a great deal in knowing how to live a life.
Secondly, keep travelling humbly or live overseas for a short while helps too. While I can work normally and comfortably after graduating from the university, I went on to lead a life of a nomad, having no fixed roofs overhead, getting discriminated, eating bread or skipping meals, but it does make me understood that it is only in Singapore and some countries in Asia that education level in the university or a good school is deemed so important. Break that limiting perspective, and there are alot more possibiliites available.
Thirdly, try out extreme sports. I personally recommended skydiving. I did a tandem-jump because i had no licence 6 years back. Even though I am in debt now, its amazing after doing the jump for 6 years till now, how much I feel I can conquer and come back when setbacks occur. And I seriously think that it is by no chance, many of the millionaires do extreme sports, it probably numb them to the fear in the business world. Afterall, if you overcome the fear of death, what is the fear of living?And one can probably listen more to their instincts to know what he/she wants to go on and benefit fully from Adam’s books and trainings.
Fourthly, read extensively.
Thank you for reading the 5 cent worth of thoughts.
[…] Adam Khoo was one of my mentors during my stint at Akltg. He’s not only a nice guy, but a multi-millionaire to boot He shares his story and how NLP has made a big difference in his life by asking “If I Had Gone to Raffles Institution, Would I Be a Millionaire Today?” […]
I think u r juz “heng”… but kudos to u… Maybe u are juz a late bloomer
Konnichiwa,
watashi wa Oura des…ja gambate ne! greatly admire your samurai spirit ne. sayonara and banzai!!
Adam is one of best Asian’s motivator i know.
Read his book Master Your Mind Design Your Destiny was totally inspired me to turnover and makeover my life better. I come from Indonesian, East Java.
Nice to meet you.
Amen.
Happened to chance upon this post and just wanted to say.. I’ve been in some “elite” school all my life, I do very well in school and I DID go to Raffles (Junior College, since I’m not a guy!).
However, I’m not a millionaire, will probably never be one, and I don’t really care!
One thing I’d like to share though, is a quote from Randy Pausch that I try to remember in difficult situations –
“Brick walls are there for a reason – they let us prove how badly we want something.”